Journal

Sometimes We Need to Say Screw You to Content Rules

Remember the good old days of blogging? Come up with something to say, write it down, hit Publish, and onto the next piece whenever that came to mind.

Now we have to worry about content authority, author rank, Hummingbird, content overkill, content optimization, etc, etc.

It seems we spend so much time worrying on the presentation, we lose track of the real reason we blog.

Love.

Love for the content; love for the experience; love for the audience; love for the?reason to publish.

Sometimes we need to say “Screw you, content rules”, and Just. Hit. Publish.

The Little Book of Inspiration Pre-Order and Blog Tour

So next week, Thursday October 8th, is kind of a special/exciting/cool/worrying (delete where applicable) day, as my first non-business book is released.

A collection of thoughts, anecdotes, life experiences and philosophies, The Little Book of Inspiration is a distinct change from the books I’ve released so far.

This book is more in line with the direction I’ve been moving for the last 6-12 months or so, and its tagline sums up the content within:

Inspiration is all around us. All we have to do is look.

Early feedback has compared it to Chicken Soup for the Soul, which I won’t complain about at all!

With the world around us often looking like it’s going to self-destruct, The Little Book of Inspiration is offered as a counter-point, and a reminder that good lives in all of us – we just need to encourage it, and recognize it in others, more.

Released next Thursday by Morning Rain Publishing, you can pre-order it now via the links below:

Amazon.com
Amazon Canada
Amazon UK
Amazon Worldwide (this link should automatically identify your country)
Kobo

Additionally, if you’re interested in being a host for the book’s blog/virtual tour (whether that’s a guest post, a review, a Q&A, podcast, etc.), you can find out more by emailing my publisher directly – click here to do that.

The Little Book of Inspiration is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, and it’s exciting to finally see it almost here.

I hope you’re inspired by its premise, too. Thanks.

Who You Are Versus Who You Think You Are

Look in the mirror. What reflection do you see? What?s the answer that you get when you ask, ?Who am I??.

It doesn?t matter if it?s a personal mirror or one with a business face ? they?re one and the same at the end of the day.

How you view yourself has a lot to do with how you?re viewed by others.

Do you see yourself as the no-nonsense type that doesn?t stand for any bull? Or the caring type that listens to everyone?s questions and concerns and tries to help wherever possible?

Maybe the answer is somewhere in-between, or nowhere near either.

Your view, and that of other people, is what shapes your brand, personal and professional.

If you want to come across as narcissistic, you will.
If you want to be known as the person that never listens to others and does exactly what you want, you will.
If you want to be known as the hard-assed boss, you will.

But you know what people buy from? The brand.

Sure, the product is important, but generally it plays second fiddle to the service. Your brand gets known for its service and is the currency on which your fortune (or lack of) will be built.

I?m a consumer. If I hear about two companies that have exactly the same product and price point, but one listens to its customers more than the other, I know where my money?s going.

If I hear that Jim has built his hugely successful business by being a dick to his staff for no reason, I?d rather shop at Joe?s less successful business.

Why? Because I?ve heard he knows all his employees? likes and dislikes and when their birthdays are.

He also listens to feedback from staff and customers alike and acts on it to make his service better.

We all know who and what we want to be.?Yet we don?t always make the right decisions to get there.

Ours isn?t the only opinion that counts ? not if we want to be truly successful. We know who we are, but others know who we could be. This is what makes a successful brand.

Your brand is your voice but don?t be afraid to let others shape it.

A Letter to My Daughter On Being a Strong Woman

This post is part of the #DearDaughter campaign, and is written as a letter to my daughter on what constitutes a strong woman.

To my beautiful daughter Salem,

I’m not sure when you’ll read this, or how old you’ll be. I’m not sure if you’ll be reading this on your wedding day, or the day after my last.

Perhaps you’ll read it with your mother, which – given the topic – would be pretty much the perfect way to do so.

You see, your mother is the strongest woman I know, and I see her strength in you every single day.

Your independence. Your inquisitiveness. Your fearlessness. Your caring. Your openness.

Your unfiltered love.

And it’s important to have these strengths, because so many people in the world will try and force you to hide them, because you’re “only a woman”.

(Note: you may read this at a time when being a woman isn’t viewed as being a second-class citizen – I can but hope. If so, ask your mother what I’m talking about, or use the Google if it’s still around)

But “they” do this through fear. Because strong women make “them” uncomfortable. Strong women take away “their” control. Strong women negate “their” very reason to exist.

You may ask how you know if you’re a strong woman.

Sweetheart, the fact that you’re your mother’s daughter means you already are, because you’ve lived your whole life so far learning from the strongest woman I know.

But if anyone can’t see that, and they need more specific definition, I offer two pieces of advice:

Learn to love the word “why” and use it all the time

Why can’t I do that? Because it’s a man’s job?
Why can’t I wear that? Because a boy can’t control himself around me if I do?
Why don’t you pay the same? Because I’m a woman and the other candidate is a man?
Why am I even asking these dumb questions?

There are probably many more why questions that have arisen in your life up until this point.

Some, I hope I’ve been able to help with. Others, perhaps, are more in your mother’s domain (though I’d hope you felt comfortable enough to ask me, you just preferred your mother).

Either way, own the “why?” question and never feel like you need to justify it when it’s the right one to ask (you’ll know when it is).

Be who you needed when you were younger

I hope that as you read this, you recall the times I stood up for you. The times I encouraged you. The times I fought for you.

But just in case you don’t, for hopefully some other reason than I never actually did these things for you, then I ask you to be who you needed when you were younger.

Because if I wasn’t there to fill that need, or I failed you in any way, then that anger you probably have at that feeling of abandonment will build the strength in you that I failed to give.

So be strong, if that’s what’s needed to make “they” become “we”. Only when the world is we do we all become free. Only then do you not need to be a “strong woman” – you simply need to be a woman.

And if I’m not there to see that world with you when you read this letter, I’ll be waiting for you to tell me all about it when I finally do see you again.

And I hope that’s a long, long time from reading this letter, my strong, beautiful daughter.

I love you. xxx

About the campaign: The #DearDaughter campaign encourages dads to write a letter to their present, future or fictional daughter or granddaughter about what it means to be strong. It’s part of Legacy Out Loud, a global initiative that empowers young women to think and act entrepreneurially, reverse engineer their careers, and become the leaders of their generation. You can find out more about the #DearDaughter campaign here.

Why We Should Focus on What We Need Versus What We Want

Oftentimes in life, we have these little moments of real time to ourselves, where there?s nothing but silence to keep us company.

In today?s always on, ever connected world, these moments in time become ever rarer, and we have to grab them while they?re here.

In these moments, we see many things in a different light. One direction we were on is revealed to be flawed, while journeys yet to take become more important.

There?s no real rhyme, nor reason, as to why certain thoughts take centre stage to ponder, while others remain hidden, waiting on their own time in the spotlight when the next peaceful moment comes.

What is clear is that it allows us to refocus, and define what we want versus what we need.

What We Want

We all want different things. Depending where we are in our lives, these can interchange or disappear altogether.

When I was a teenager at school and college, for example, I always wanted to be a journalist. I loved writing and had a curious streak mixed with a stubborn nature, that would probably have come in handy had I decided to pursue that career.

But then I discovered girls, and my hormones decided that while my grades would have allowed me to take a journalism degree at one of Scotland?s most successful universities, what I wanted was to discover more about girls.

As I grew older, I found I wanted different things in life.

I wanted to be rich (still do, to a degree). I wanted to be famous, as in celebrity famous. I wanted to fly into space. I wanted to travel the world. I wanted to invent something that changed the world. I wanted to be liked by all that met me. I wanted to be an author.

So, yeah. I wanted.

The thing is, as I discovered when I fell into marketing and then built on that with a degree in the medium, there?s a big difference between want and need. As marketers, our job is to find that difference and instill a desire to buy.

Now that I?m probably well into the second half of my life, the pursuit of want isn?t anywhere near as important to me as the acceptance of need.

What We Need

Much like we are when it comes to what we want, we?re all different when it comes to what we need, at least from a material sense. From the metaphysical and emotional side, perhaps they?re not so different.

I can look back at some of my wants and how they manifest themselves differently when they come up against what I actually need.

I wanted to be rich, but do I need to be? No. There?s no doubt being rich helps attain a level of comfort few of us ever achieve, but what is comfort? For me, it?s being able to keep a roof over my family?s head and ensure we don?t go hungry.

Being rich may provide more expensive food and a bigger house, but do I really need that? No.

I wanted to be an author, and I?ve been fortunate enough to have realized that goal.

But while it might seem mysterious and attractive, or whatever, to be an author, the travel away from home when you have a wife and two young children where the oldest is barely three can be soul destroying, despite being surrounded by great friends and new friends-to-be.

Do I need to be an author to prove something about myself? Maybe, I don?t know. But I do know I need my family more than whatever that former need is.

I wanted to be liked by everyone I met. Call it vanity, ego, or whatever, but my younger self believed that if you were liked by all, that made you someone that demands respect. The thing is, while it might seem a contradiction, liking doesn?t necessarily equal respect.

I may like someone, because I feel they?re doing what they believe to be right. But that doesn?t mean I respect the way they?re doing it. So, popularity and respect aren?t as close as I had them pegged to be.

Now I know better.

Now I know that it doesn?t matter if people dislike me or, to take it to its natural next step, don?t respect me. While it?d be nice to have, generic respect is a flawed goal. The bigger picture, and the more important one, is the respect from those that truly matter.

As long as I can end the day and look my wife and children in the eye, knowing that I didn?t let them down and did the right thing, that?s the ultimate measure ? for me ? that I kept on the right side of the respect track.

My family; my friends; my colleagues; my community. These are who I deliver for; everything else is happenstance.

What We Want Versus What We Need

We?re all in the same boat. Your moment of silence and clarity may not be today, but it?s there, just waiting to pull up a chair and spend some time.

Make that time.

We live in an age where we?re always on, and rarely take the time to sit, think, regroup. We need to do that. Every single one of us.

Otherwise we?ll go stir crazy from the speed of the merry-go-round we?re on, and miss the chance to think of what?s important to us.

That?s not to say we should give up on our wants ? far from it. It?s nice to have goals and dreams, and see some of them come true.

But we can live without our wants.

Our needs, however, are simpler to achieve ? yet, more often than not, they have the highest return. And that?s no bad thing, when all?s said and done.