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Danny Brown

Danny Brown

podcaster - author - creator

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decisions

Maybe You’re Late For a Good Reason

Late

The other night, I was commuting home on my usual train, and two cyclists got on, a man and a woman (although separately – they weren’t together).

As I sat down in my chair, the male cyclist noticed that the female one was looking a little agitated, and asked her if everything was okay.

“Oh, well, kinda, thanks for asking. I’m just late for a meeting with my friend, and I’m just trying to let her know I’ll be there soon.”

“Ah, that sucks,” replied the guy. “But you know, maybe you’re late for a good reason.”

The female cyclist looked at him and asked, “How come?”

“Well, you never know,” was the reply, “you might be late, your friend might leave, and you might meet the love of your life at your destination instead, or someone who’ll become an important part of your life.”

The female cyclist paused, smiled, and thanked her male counterpart for that.

The train started up, pulled out of the station, and away we went. Me, home. The two cyclists, wherever they were going – and, for one, perhaps to the start of a huge new chapter in her life.

The Paths We Divert To

As the train bobbed and weaved along the track, I couldn’t help but think of what the cyclist had said.

Maybe you’re late for a good reason.

Such a counterpoint to our usual stance on being late, that of it being a bad thing – sometimes a very bad thing.

And while being late can be bad – a job interview, the birth of your child, paying the rent, etc, – it can also be a very good thing. Something that young cyclist saw, and clearly lived by.

And it’s true.

If I think of the times I’ve been late for something, it’s resulted in some of the best parts of my life.

  • In my mid-twenties, I was late getting out of a meeting, so my evening that I had planned didn’t pan out. So, instead, I went to grab a quick beer at my local pub, and ended up meeting someone that would play a major part in my life.
  • In my early thirties, I was late for a train to travel from Scotland to England. I missed it, and that train ended up derailing and injuring over thirty passengers (thankfully, nothing serious).
  • In my late thirties, I was late for a night out, so decided to stay in and jump on a band’s message board to write about some Scottish punk music. My future wife read it, and the rest is history.
  • When my second child was born, I had to be out of the country on business, and so my wife delayed the birth (she should have had our daughter the week before), and I made it home the day before our little girl came into the world.

All different examples of being late, all major points in my life, and ones where my life would very much be less rich than it is today had I been on time.

The Clock is Ours to Choose

Try telling folks that being late can be good, and you might get an “Are you crazy?” stare, or a rebuttal, or a shake of the head.

And, as I mentioned earlier, that’s understandable. Some things can be very bad if we’re late for them.

But too often, we let that cloud our better judgement.

By being?late when it comes to leaving the office, we’re late for the family who’re waiting patiently at home for us.

By being late when it comes to telling someone how we feel, we’re too late to stop them from being with someone else.

By being late at making up with those we’ve drifted apart from, we’re too late to let them know we forgive them (or ask forgiveness) before they’re no longer around.

The truth is, we can decide what we’re late for and what import we put on it, instead of the other way round.

Every one of us has a clock we work by – we just need to choose the one we want to live our lives by.?Even if that means being late.

Because as a young stranger on a train showed me, maybe being late is for a good reason.

Do You Worry, Or Smile, When You Lose Blog Subscribers?

Yes. No. Maybe. It depends. I know ? crappy answer, right? But each one can be applied to the question of losing blog subscribers and if you should care or not.

After all, as bloggers, we?re more often than not told that ?it?s all about the list?. This usually refers to an email list, and why building one is important for your blog?s growth.

I?m not going to get into the ?do I need a list or not?? question – there are plenty of other blog posts dedicated to that topic already.

No, for this post, I?m going to assume you already have a list.

Additionally, I?m going to talk about subscribers to your blog, as opposed to subscribers to your newsletter, as there is a difference and for many bloggers, their blog subscription list is the only one they?ll have.

So, with that in mind ? should you care about losing blog subscribers? Let?s dig in.

Yes ? Your Subscribers Are Everything

When you start blogging, you might have many goals.

Some of them could be to make money; some could be to share your thoughts with others; and some could be just to have a platform to get your writing mojo on.

Either way, to succeed in any of these goals (with perhaps the exception of the last one), you need readers. And, if you get readers, you want them to turn into subscribers.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Anyone can click a link on Facebook or Twitter. But it takes commitment to subscribe. #blogging” quote=”Anyone can click a link on Facebook or Twitter. But it takes commitment to subscribe.”]

After all, anyone can click a link on Facebook or Twitter and come over to read your stuff – but it takes commitment from a reader to want to follow your content religiously enough to actually subscribe.

They?re saying they prefer you over the millions of other bloggers out there.

Because of that, you should care on losing them, and take steps to find out why they left.

  • Look at the content you wrote just prior to them unsubscribing and see if it?s a valid reason (perhaps a different tone or style from your normal stuff).
  • Email them and thank them for subscribing up until then, and ask if they?d mind sharing why they left.
  • If you are changing the style of your blog, and you see subscribers leaving, create a poll and ask readers their thoughts on the new direction.

By being pro-active on understanding the reasons for the unsubscribes, you can take the action needed to halt the slide.

No ? It?s Your Blog and People Don?t Need to Read What They Don?t Like

The best bloggers (at least for me) are the ones that polarize opinion and question everything. Of course, that doesn?t mean you need to be an asshat in all your posts ? just don?t follow the herd when it comes to your opinion.

For example, if you?re blogging about blog tips, try and steer away from making every post a list one about the Top 10 this or a Best 20 that.

Sure, list posts are great traffic generators and, when done well, can offer a great resource. But often they can be overdone and offer little.

Instead, share your lessons and how the most unlikeliest of sources can teach you about blogging.

Or, if you write about social media, ignore the standard ?Why Google+ is great for business? posts and offer a rebuff on why the platform is struggling to be relevant for the majority of businesses out there.

By offering your stance on popular topics, especially if the stance goes against the popular grain, it helps you stand out as someone to listen to, since you clearly don?t buy into the hype of the Johnny Popularity bloggers.

Of course, the ?problem? with this is that people don?t like to hear they may be wrong, or the platform they put the most love into isn?t as great as they want it to be.

This is where you often lose blog subscribers ? but that?s okay.

When you lose subscribers like this, it?s for a clear reason ? you believe one thing and they believe another. Sure, you could try and persuade each other the merits of each other?s point of view and, sometimes, this works.

But, for the most part, people can be stubborn ? and no-one benefits from a protracted discussion that clearly isn?t going to be resolved.

So, let your subscriber go. He or she clearly won?t enjoy your content if it?s against their beliefs; and you?re not going to enjoy the constant jibing from them because you don?t see eye-to-eye.

Let them find a blog that?s more suited to their stance, and leave you to write for the readers that actually want to be on your blog, because these are the ones that will be your biggest ambassadors as you grow your blog.

Your Turn

Of course, like any opinion piece, there?s no right answer. Well, except mine? Joke!

But the question of blog lists and subscribers is a big one, and one that has no definite right answer. After all, we all have separate goals on what we want to achieve with our blogs.

So, how about you? Do you bite your nails each time you see an unsubscribe and wonder what you did wrong? Or do you shrug, smile, and carry on as normal?

Share your own thoughts and experiences below – I’d love to hear your take.

Why We Should Be Listening to Unconventional Wisdom

Conventional wisdom tells us new businesses shouldn?t take risks.

Conventional wisdom tells us to adhere to process, because it’s there for a reason.

Conventional wisdom tells us children should be seen and not heard.

Conventional wisdom tells us not to fix what isn?t broke.

But conventional wisdom also told us that flight was a pipe dream. Conventional wisdom also told us the earth was flat. Conventional wisdom has led us into wars based on lies.

Conventional wisdom is fine. But unconventional wisdom? That?s where the possibilities lie.

When Does Convenience of Service Overcome Lack of Ethics?

If you’ve spent any time online in the last few days, you can’t help but see all the bad news that keeps seeming to appear about personal taxi service Uber.

While the service has come under plenty of criticism in the last 6-12 months over some of its practices, the last seven days or so has seen a major upsurge in negative stories around the brand.

  • Uber Executive Suggests Digging Up Dirt on Journalists (Buzzfeed)
  • The Moment I Learned Just How Far Uber Will Go to Silence Journalists and Attack Women (pandodaily)
  • Sexist French Uber Promotion Pairs Riders with “Hot Chick” Drivers (Buzzfeed)
  • Uber Exec Proposes Smearing Female Reporters Who Criticized the App (Valleywag)
  • Uber Driver Told Cancer Patient She Deserves to Be Sick After Canceling Ride (New York Daily News)

Quite the list, huh? And that’s just in the last seven days – run a Google search, and the number of results are staggering. So it’s clear that Uber may not only have some very questionable business practices, but morally questionable ones at that.

Yet for some, this may not matter. Over on Facebook, my friend Justin Kozuch shared?a news story on why the City of Toronto is seeking a court injunction against Uber operating in the city. The story from the Toronto Star highlights a sizeable list of risks, including:

  • increased risk to passenger safety due to lack of driver training and mechanical inspections;
  • unregulated fares resulting in price surging (which Uber did to Torontonians in last year’s bitter winter);
  • increased safety risk to drivers due to lack of training and vehicle security equipment;
  • inadequate insurance that fails to meet municipal codes and may not provide proper coverage for drivers, passengers and other road users.

Again, quite the list. Despite this though, and despite the multitude of examples of Uber’s approach to ethics, it seems turning a blind eye in lieu of convenience is the more popular route. It’s not just Uber where this is happening, though.

When We Silently Complain

Earlier this year, I wrote a post about why the bullshit attitudes towards women needs to stop (warning: contains graphical and disturbing imagery). One of the examples I used in it was that of Ray Rice, who was the running back for the Baltimore Ravens at the time.

Rice was caught on tape hitting his then-fiancee, and (at the time) received a pitiful punishment from the NFL (a two-game ban, which was increased when more details came out about the case).

However, Rice was seemingly just the tip of the iceberg when it came to the issues that were about to unfold for the NFL.

  • NFL Star Adrian Peterson Arrested for Child Abuse (BBC)
  • Face It, Women, The NFL Does Not Give a Shit About You (Jezebel)
  • Panthers Disappointed in Greg Hardy, But No Discipline Imminent (Charlotte Observer)
  • The NFL Needs to Take Domestic Violence Seriously (TIME)
  • Misogyny and Homophobia in the NFL: Is America’s Crisis of Masculinity Playing Out In Its Favorite Sport? (Huffington Post Gay Voices)

Much like Uber, this is quite the collection of events for the NFL, and all from this year. Following these articles, videos, etc., social media lit up with condemnation, and calls to boycott the NFL, etc., especially when this damning Keith Olbermann video came out, attacking the NFL for its degradation of women.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fc_AnLaBew

Some of my friends over on Facebook were the most vociferous in their condemnation. Then game day one arrived in the new NFL season.

Many of these critics were now cheering on their teams, and paying into the money machine again either by going to games themselves, and buying the relevant beer, food, etc., or they were paying the cable companies to get live access to the game.

While the NFL issues didn’t necessarily appear forgotten, they did seem out of mind now the cheering had begun.

Away from the US, here in Canada there’s currently a case involving media personality Jian Ghomeshi and domestic violence around his sexual preferences:

  • More Workplace Allegations Made Against Jian Ghomeshi (CBC News Toronto)
  • Dirty Little Open Secrets: How the Jian Ghomeshi Scandal Helped Turn the Tide Against Bill Cosby (Salon)
  • Jian Ghomeshi: How He Got Away With It (Macleans)
  • Can Jian Ghomeshi Salvage His Reputation? (Toronto Star)

Again, much like the Ray Rice/NFL case, there was a lot of condemnation and outrage on Facebook and other social media channels, as friends and their connections moved from incredulity to anger and disgust.

Yet according to Facebook today, five of my own friends are still “fans” of the Jian Ghaneshi Facebook Page.

Jian-Ghomeshi

The irony of that,?given the way a Facebook Like can be seen as an endorsement, isn’t lost in light of the way those same folks decried Ghomeshi and his behaviour. Damn you, forgotten Facebook Page Likes!

The Right of Choice and Why It Needs to Be Defended

Going back to the Facebook post I referenced earlier from Justin, many of his friends still supported Uber and stated they’d continue to use the service. And, as Justin mentions himself in his reply, that’s exactly how it should be.

Critical thinking should always trump emotional reaction. If we can’t have the former, then we’re in serious trouble. It’s your choice [to continue using], and I respect that decision.

And that’s correct – people make their own decisions based on their needs at a given time, thanks to the freedom – or the right to choose freely – that so many men and women gave their lives for in order we could live ours without fear of reprisal (where legally acceptable, of course).

But sometimes, don’t you wonder if the choice is a little more black and white than that?

Take Uber. Clearly a company with both business and ethical issues that permeate from the top down. And while they fired the driver that abused the cancer victim, the senior executive that promoted the idea of abuse against reporters he found questionable is still at the company. Not much in the way of double standards there.

Or take the NFL. Since the avalanche of cases related to spousal abuse, child abuse, domestic violence, public violence and more became evident, they’ve gone on a damage control exercise, employing four women whose role it is to advise the NFL on domestic violence issues.

Many, however, see this as mere lip service and not a bigger endorsement of taking the issue seriously (especially given the fact it’s been reported that the players’ union, the National Football Players Association – is attempting to have Ray Rice’s ban lifted).

Perhaps most of all, we should take us and how we react, not just initially but moving forward.

We’re Defined By the Decisions Who Make Us What We Are

As Justin mentioned in one of his replies to his Uber discussion, “critical thinking should always trump emotional reaction”. Never is that more true when it comes to violence, hate, ethics and other emotionally-charged topics, and the discussions and actions that follow them.

While it’s natural for us to take an emotional stand initially, it’s the critical thinking stand that is more important in the long run. Our judgements can often be clouded by emotion – our longer-term thinking, less so.

It’s why we, as humans, sometimes need to ask ourselves how ethics that may not impact us personally impact the bigger human angle around us.

  • If we choose convenience over ethics, are we saying people that get hurt by poor business ethics is of no concern to us?
  • If we support a sports franchise where the owners have shown their true colours, are we in danger of saying “Out of sight, out of mind”?
  • If we take a popular stand on public networks, then don’t follow that through in private, are we really taking a stand at all?

It’s these kinds of questions that Chris Tuttle answers so eloquently over on Facebook:

I’ve had difficulty not using a service that I really like, but I can no longer justify or overlook bullying, sexist intimidation, and privacy issues in order to have a fabulous clean car. #GoodbyeUber”

Yes, we have choices, and the choices that we make should – for the most part – have little or nothing to do with anyone, or anything, that isn’t in our immediate circle of impact.

But if we always take that path, at what point does the human race finally implode on itself and simply look out for our own personal interests? Because, for me, that would be a truly sad day indeed…

Auto-Pilot is Life’s Blindfold

Being on auto-pilot is just the same as switching off your senses and letting the machinery take over.

You miss the real things that are happening, the real stories, the real people.

Fine if you’re a machine, but as a human being?

Auto-pilot is life’s blindfold.

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